Foxhole Symphony
Foxhole Symphony
Endings and Beginnings: Finding Hope and Purpose in Transition
What if seasons of change could be as transformative as they are bittersweet? Join us in a heartfelt conversation about endings and new beginnings as we reflect on the transition of the Band of Brothers group after 18 impactful seasons. We delve into the reasons behind concluding our formal meetings and share the emotional journey that brought us there. From waning attendance to a quest for deeper fulfillment, we recount our final gathering—a memorable BBQ—and the significance of maintaining those bonds as we venture into new endeavors like Victorious Together (V2G).
Next, catch the profound value of intimate, heartfelt gatherings where individuals can find spiritual nourishment. We share our personal journey of moving from larger, less impactful meetings to a more intentional, smaller group, exploring the challenges and affirmations encountered along the way. Discover the importance of letting go of old practices to make room for new opportunities, and how enduring these transitions can be both bittersweet and necessary for growth. We express immense gratitude for the past decade and look forward to what lies ahead for everyone involved.
Embrace the beauty that can arise from life's devastations, much like controlled forest burns lead to new growth. We discuss how God's plan often reveals itself through challenging circumstances, and the excitement that comes with new beginnings. Reflect on personal stories and faith-based activities like Victorious Together and Marked Men, and the significance of being open to God's guidance. Witness a touching moment where a biblical reference ties generations together through a shared love of the movie "Fury." This episode is a journey of faith, community, and the unwavering dedication of Steve and Mark to their spiritual mission. Join us in seeking purpose and renewal as we move forward with hope and action.
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Welcome to Foxhole Symphony, a podcast about the transformational value of men in authentic community.
Speaker 2:In our foxhole. Men are equipped to build relationships that foster belonging, accountability and growth.
Speaker 1:Stop believing the lie that you can thrive in isolation and instead join us on the journey from broken to whole.
Speaker 3:Hello everyone. They call me the Maestro and we are back in the foxhole where we actively pursue belonging, accountability and growth through authentic relationships. No masks, no agendas, just iron sharpening iron. Mark and Steve are in the foxhole and they are talking endings and beginnings, Two words that bring up many emotions, good and bad, but you know the guys don't shy away from the tough stuff. So find a comfy chair and open your notes app. We're going in.
Speaker 2:Hey, welcome back to Foxhole Symphony Podcast. I'm Sarge here with Mark. How you doing, buddy? I am better than I deserve, that's for sure. Just kidding, but I'm, yeah, I am exactly where I belong and getting what I deserve. Let's talk about beginnings and endings. Oh, wow, ok, hey, seasons, baby yeah.
Speaker 1:Seasons? Yeah, right, uh huh. Is it Bob Seger who, right? Uh-huh? Is it Bob Seger? Who did? Who did turn the page? Is that Bob Seger? Yes, yeah, turn the page? Yeah, it sure, sure was, I was. I was reading about that this morning, trying to make sense of what we're going to talk about, like what does the Bible say about stops and starts about? About a good ending? Is it always followed by beginnings, right? What does the Bible say? I actually Googled what does the Bible say about turning the page and it's amazing. As you guessed, there are 10,000 hits.
Speaker 2:But all over it.
Speaker 1:Paul comes up over and over and over because he had this. I'm going to stop living this way and start living this way. Right? A very common example for believers to get their brains around Um and it. And I need to do that occasionally because, if not, the conversation becomes just totally about me, and that's not my goal here, you know, at least not for our friends who are listening to the podcast. Um, there's enough of that. So, really, what I wanted to dig into today with you has everything to do with the end of the Band of Brothers. Yeah, and I say end. It's hard to say for me because I know that God's work in that isn't done. It isn't even done in me, even though we're not going to meet formally in the basement anymore.
Speaker 1:After 18 full seasons, I've decided that it's time to stop and have decided that a couple of years ago, at least a year and a half ago, and made some decisions, with your help and Maria, my wife's help and other people I trust, about what to do in this last season, as attendance was waning a little bit and I just truthfully didn't feel the energy, the mojo, the gravitas, the depth certainly wasn't feeding me, but I've overlooked that for 10 years, right, just pouring out, pouring out, pouring out, trying to figure out what God might be up to and staying focused in our conversations about that, trying to model well and all the things that we've talked about for 70 episodes here. Right, when Bob comes up, is an open door policy, right, which lent itself to some wonderful interactions and people that we got to meet. Both of us Certainly me, because I was around for most every meeting not all of them, because sometimes I would be traveling and either Steve Moore or Frank Warner or Bo were the co-leaders over the years that have stepped up and stepped in. God bless them. But so much good came from the interactions with just saying to folks come in Eight o'clock every other Thursday, there's a space for you to be safe, to be confident, to bring your stuff to either feed or be fed, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 1:But it started to and this was years now but towards the end it just became not fulfilling. There was a heightened, uh, the percentage of time I spent there and in searching I just felt God put on my heart that there was more for me. I needed more, wanted to go deeper, was looking for an addition, right, and that's where V2G was born. Victorious Together is part of this process. I still feel like there's more coming. I really don't know what it is. The truth is, I was hoping that I'd have an epiphany and God would say okay, stop this, start that.
Speaker 2:That's not how the world works. It's not. I don't even think that's how he works.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, certainly, he could, sometimes, right, if it was his plan, he'd say Mark, you can joyfully stop this. Yeah, and that's what I tried to do. The other night, you know, thursday June 27th, we had a barbecue. Yeah, that's B-O-B-B-Q. The barbecue was wonderful. A dozen guys had a great time, you know, hours of just love and talk, and cornhole and coob and you know, played some games, sat there, told stories, everybody kind of went around and just freely shared you know it was sweet and wonderful and I implored the men to please continue to, to not let our stopping meeting would not dissolve our connections that we've grown.
Speaker 1:There are men in that group that I love dearly, some that I still. There are guys showed up that I barely know and it's testament to yeah, they're still showing up because I think men need that.
Speaker 2:They need community why do you think that? Uh, it became unfulfilling for you, like what? What are the elements that we're missing? And why do you think that is because you started out by saying it's the end of band of brothers, right? And I would argue, it's absolutely not. Yeah, it may be the end of the gathering, correct? That's that. That's occurred, you know, twice a month for the last 18 years, right, uh, but there's nothing ending. I mean, there is a there was 18 years of, you know, good work and investment in the hearts and lives of men. That continues, that lives on right, there we talked about the ripples.
Speaker 2:yeah, okay, bob, ripples big, yes, so, but I understand what you meant. I just wanted to clarify and and um, but it, it. You know you were prompted to begin to wind it down, prayed for a couple of years about that yes and uh, and then started something new based on what you were drawn to and and what you felt like you needed. And what would you know? Uh, serve you and other men Well, and I believe what God prompted. But yeah, going back to my question, you know you mentioned that it became unfulfilling and had been for some time. Talk about that Sure.
Speaker 1:I have admitted to you and anyone listening and people around me that it took me years to get out of the way of the Lord and the Holy Spirit starting Bob because I wanted my thumbprint on it and it was in my house and it was my idea Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. I had an eye problem, I had something stuck in my eye and towards the end I would leap from those first five, six, eight years of having good meetings. But I learned that my purpose wasn't appropriate and I wasn't surrendered and I did a deep surrender for a decade. I didn't feel that God could do his best work through me leading Bob anymore.
Speaker 2:Okay, does that make sense? It does, it does, it does make sense. I'm wondering what was missing.
Speaker 1:What was missing. I'll give you a specific example the opportunity to be in deep, authentic community with men. The more I experienced it at Victorious together, it made it more and more obvious that the come as you are never know what I'm going to get environment at Bob, or the repetitive been there, done that, heard, that story wasn't fulfilling. I was experiencing this over here. It's kind of like you know, to use our conversation earlier, you can go get your mozzarella at the local deli or you can go out and get the mozzarella de buffalo right and you know the difference Right. But once you have it you never want to go back.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Does that help at all? It does. Okay, and I'm just being honest, yeah, no, listen, that's what we do. The meetings weren't bad, but look I please I don't want anything about this to make it sound like I wasn't enjoying the camaraderie and friendship and love we shared at the Band of Brothers. Yes, every time. I mean there were several meetings where it was me, bo and Chris, right Me, richard and anyone else you know. Yeah, I love those. Those two and three three person meetings were awesome. I can. Wasn't wasn't but 17 years ago where, if there weren't 40 people, right, you know, I'd be wondering, like, what happened?
Speaker 2:The circle was so big that you couldn't. There's no way you could see everybody, Cause it had like jagged edges to follow the walls of your basement. It was just hysterical, Dude.
Speaker 1:I remember when it got that big, I felt for some reason I had to touch everybody. I had to hug every guy before they left and then after about a year I'm like I just wanted to see five guys. I really learned the value of those smaller, intimate moments, those meetings where safety and comfort. Just let people pour their hearts out and gave God a chance to fill them up. That that was missing for me. Yeah, I didn't feel that catalyst and I couldn't catalyze it. I.
Speaker 2:Right and it wasn't. It wasn't really happening on a on a regular basis.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, and yeah, and yeah. I've got some bad analogies in my head about the. You know, when you taste something sweeter, you don't want to go back for right. And I felt like that long before V2G. But they were intertwined and it was I. I decided with God over the course of a year that a small group of three, four, five you were the first person I talked to about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:This is post podcast Right Pre V2, right before the fall of 23.
Speaker 2:So Well, and and again, I, I want to honor your commitment to like that. That was not a quick decision, nor was it an easy one, but the intentionality and the and the prayerful approach to making that decision is really honorable. I mean, you, you, you know, you brought that before the Lord, for, like I said, I, I, you know more than a year, and you know, and, and God had made it clear to you. And so, yeah, I, you know more than a year, and, um, you know, and, and God had made it clear to you. And so, yeah, I, you know, I think there's a sometimes there's a law of diminishing returns when we stay with something that that is not intended to continue, you know, and that is meant to, you know, die so that something new can be resurrected and, and, you know, be 10 times greater than we ever imagined what the original thing could be. And, um, that's tough, that's tough.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, I have to admit something to you. There were a handful of times in this journey over the last few years Now we're talking about 23 and 24. That, for the first time in the history of Band of Brothers, there were two instances in that period that nobody showed up. I sat by myself in the basement or around the pool, or torches are lit, drinks are out and I'm on my own. Bo cancels at the last minute, whatever, and the enemy absolutely took the opportunity to let me know to F everybody. That's how you feel I can stop this tomorrow and I'm just thankful to say that that lasted a few moments.
Speaker 1:My pride got out of the way. I said I would always stop and enjoy that quiet, those moments. And I did. Wherever I was at that time, I just stayed and got in the word and listened that quiet, those moments. And I did Wherever I was at that time. I just stayed and got in the Word and listened to something, read something, got on the Bible Project podcast knowing me probably, because that's where I spent a lot of time and I stayed in there. I made it valuable for me in my journey. As Richard, our brother Richard, would say, the journey continues. So I did, I had moments of.
Speaker 2:I can, which is natural. Of course you did. Of course you did. The good news is, as you said, you didn't make a decision about, you know its continuation in those moments, in those moments, you know, rather years later, you know, you, you, you brought it before the Lord and you, you know, painstakingly evaluated and prayerfully considered every aspect and and and everyone you know involved, and so um yeah, so that was principally the end of a formal gathering here, but tentacles and ripples.
Speaker 1:How many years ago did we do Pebble in the Pond?
Speaker 2:I don't know Long time it's up there in the first right first, 20.
Speaker 1:But we talk about those things in our lives that ripple out Dude. The affirmation poured on me last Thursday was far beyond my ability to consume or enjoy Borderline uncomfortable Sure, Trying to remind everybody that I'm totally fine with it not being about me. It took me eight years, but I spent a decade in exactly the right heart space. Yep years, but I spent a decade in exactly the right heart space, with people always praying about Mark. So nice that Mark and Marie opened their house and it is very sweet. But it was just God at work in a small way, the parts of this that could grow. My heart is a little broken and it was that night. I may have been you and somebody else asked me how to go and Mo, yeah, Asked me and I said I said I was just worried because I saw some looks like lost.
Speaker 1:Looks Like. Where do we go now? Yeah, Like they close your favorite restaurant. There's just a sign on the door when you show up. Yep, it's like whoa, wait a minute.
Speaker 2:But I also would guess, not knowing who those faces were, that they've been around a long time.
Speaker 1:Many.
Speaker 2:And they should know that there are options. And you know a, a like, yeah, it's, I mean, it's just, you know, I mean, the Bible speaks to this. Right, like, you know, time for some solid food. Maybe it's time for you to lead, maybe it's time for you know something new to start. Maybe it's time you know. Again, I think that's for for everybody, not just for you, but for everybody involved. It's there's an opportunity to celebrate what took place and to, you know, evaluate what's next for them. Right, so that's, you know I'm not trying to be harsh I think there's, you know there's, of course, there's some grieving there, there's some loss. You know that, that you know we need to experience and and um, and certainly a lot to celebrate, but then then it's okay, what is next? Yeah, and it, it. And that doesn't have to be a um, you know a negative thing. It doesn't have to be seen through a negative lens.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, and it is absolutely my hope and prayer. How I have comforted myself in this is to again surrender to God. So many of the guys prayed and they said, mark, you don't realize how many people hope now is that the group and four men I've seen since last Thursday either at church or somewhere in town, and they were like, oh sorry, I didn't make the meeting, would have really loved to have been there, and they're long timers. Saw Peach, saw Dennis Summers, saw somebody else. And that's the hope. The joy in this is that God is starting something I'll never know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know how hard it was for me, captain Controllo, to let go of that years and years ago. But now, totally comfortable with our omnipotent, omnipresent, all-consuming Lord and Savior, that he's got it. He's got Jorn, he's got Bart, he's got Zach, he's got John, he's got them all in his hands and something beautiful is happening. Maybe it'll come back around to me, maybe I'll find out through them or through somebody else. That would be beautiful, but my real hope is that somebody would just have coffee, right. They'd know someone in the group they enjoy talking to Leaving. Our brother, jorn the Viking, comes up to me and he says would it be okay if I came back so you could pray for me?
Speaker 1:And you know he's sick, right, yeah, so, and I'm just like I couldn't let go of him.
Speaker 2:Love it.
Speaker 1:Holding on to the Viking Love it. Tell him I couldn't let go of them. Holding on to the.
Speaker 2:Viking Love it. Tell them, yeah, bro Of course, Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And I said to the truth, I said our home is always open and it always has been.
Speaker 2:That's not anything new. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a love that was fostered to the extent that it's not just among that group, but some of the ripples are an ability to love and a capacity to love differently, in a way that God, I believe, calls us to and wants us to as a result of that group, something every single person should experience, and that's over the course of 18 years of exposure, right, that's over the course of 18 years of exposure, right, and you know to that that, I would guess, I believe, has, you know, impacted so many lives and marriages and just how people operate.
Speaker 2:It's interesting. I, as you know, you know, have an ending and a new beginning and with my family, you know, we're moving out of state. It's a big move and, um, those who have been even remotely, um, you know, involved with band of brothers, um, that's, that's not how they would, you know, like, there's just, there's a love that emanates.
Speaker 2:There's a you know that it just responds differently. There's an intentionality, there's a, there's a you know, and not just with those others in Bob, but people that they engage with on a regular basis and encounter. And you know, those are the things that you know over the years as we've done this, you know as part of the transformation that we've experienced, just as humans, you know, and as followers of Jesus. But it's pretty fascinating.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, I'm going to come back around. I want to say this Bob wasn't perfect, but it was good. Oh yeah, that would be the bumper sticker. You know it was good. I can't tell you how many things I screwed up in there in the beginning and throughout the process, but overall I know at least once a year I would have a meeting where I'd say how do you describe this to your wife or significant other or whatever, whoever you're talking to, how do you describe Bob? And I would use that to fuel next conversations, like because that told me what they felt comfortable sharing about it, without any specifics about any one man, just what their heart felt and put them on the spot. You know interesting some answers that you get for people that aren't ever going to come back and and don't really feel connected in that way. I mean there were certain people who would text or email or call me and say they weren't coming and it's so cute because they never came right, there's no attendance taken.
Speaker 1:You show up, you know and you don't. You know, at some point we're all not going to show up. It's kind of like you show up, you know and you don't. At some point we're all not going to show up. It's kind of like you're all going to die.
Speaker 2:That's just. You know the norms, right, that's the norms they're used to. I should let somebody know that's sweet, it is you know I had.
Speaker 1:I had one young man for the meeting texting me. He says I'm on my way, hadn't been to a meeting in months, you know, maybe a year on my way, and it's just great, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1:Well, let's spend a couple of minutes at the end here talking about new beginnings, like what could be born from big decisions turning the page, new chapters. You pick your metaphor. I'm going to bring up nature, because you know love to play in the dirt. I don't know how old I was when I learned this, but it was long after the devastation of wildfires let's talk about out here in Jersey. You hear about California and West Coast wildfires, wildfires in the Midwest. We don't have wildfires here.
Speaker 1:It's a little bit too wet, but I learned that the value of wildfires to the ecosystem is huge. Yes, there's literally potassium in the ash that is fuel for the ground and soil that can rebuild incredibly beautiful, lush landscapes after a fire. We now know and anyone who has ever watched David Attenborough or any nature show they actually do burns controlled burns in places, to avoid wildfires and to help regrowth. It's just you got to make a 10 year, 20 year investment in that, right. You're going to like, oh man, that's a burnt forest for the first few years, but then your kid goes to college after seeing it when he's a toddler and realizes, oh my gosh, it's like a beautiful tropical rainforest. So, god, I say all that to say now that your science lesson is over God does beautiful things with that type of heat and devastation right.
Speaker 1:Some wildfires burn homes, terrible things like that and that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking although there is a rebuilding in that as well. Some people rebuild right where they are, some people move and rebuild and God's in all of it. So we know that our King has a plan for even something as devastating as a fire. So not hard for me to imagine he's got a new plan for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And some of it. I can tell you I'm unsettled with the post-Bob plan. I know Victorious Together has something to do with it. I know Marked Men has something to do with it, but it's twice a year. I mean, right now I don't feel I could do more P1s. I don't feel like I'm going to invest in Marked Men differently from a P3 or staffing P2s, things like that. That's not what's on my heart at the moment. But I feel like I do have a gap. I have time, I have energy and interest, which are three really good catalysts for God to work with me on. All right, what else, mark? Yeah, and it's not because I've got two more Thursdays free. I can fill those really easily.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, just around here, yeah, but I'm really excited about the new beginnings, part right Endings, beginnings and ending doesn't necessarily mean, like you said, doesn't mean it's over Right, it just means it's moving right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's evolving in a different way. I don't know if a man from the Band of Brothers is going to come back to me and want to do something else or talk about something else, or do Bible reading plans learn something else about. As you know how interested I am about the life and times of Jesus and even our Old Testament heroes and what the world was like at the time. I'm so immersed in some of that right now, especially watching Chosen Season 4 and watching how they portray life under the Roman Empire and rule at that time and what Jesus was up to. So I am wide open. It's actually very exciting. So I am wide open. Yeah, it's actually very exciting.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, it is, it is. I can get anxious about it too.
Speaker 2:You know, not having the clear vision, the you know, right, the strategy in place, but it is a beautiful thing, the strategy in place, but it is a beautiful thing, it is, and I think, needed at this point, you know, in in in my life, you know, to remain surrendered with open hands and saying okay, lord, you know, lead, lead, lead, like you do, and I'm listening, I'm watching, show me, show me, bring, bring them to my doorstep, you know. So, yeah, I too am, you know, excited for that, albeit, you know, cautious and anxious are different.
Speaker 1:You just have. You have a significant list of big issues in front of you, including a physical uplifting, a lift and shift, as we call it in my job of your lives. Right, yep, south. So that's, that's ginormous, yeah, and that that's a game changer it is. I'm in a, in a comfortable spot saying Lord, you know, here I am send me and I said I got to tell you this. I said those words out loud in front of my son, jack, yesterday. And he goes Shia LaBeouf and Fury. Did you see the movie Fury? No, the tank movie, no. And I may be saying his name wrong. Is it Shia LaBeouf?
Speaker 2:Shia LaBeouf.
Speaker 1:Okay. So there's an actor with that name who's in a tank and he's the gunner he's shooting, but he's deeply committed to the word and the Lord in this World War II. And there's four guys in a tank that's how many are in a tank team and he's telling them about why he goes forward, why he's making a speech, and he says that line out loud. But for my son, for me, it was invoking a biblical term about my availability to God and to my son he equated to a cinematic actor saying a line in a movie from a few years ago that we love this movie, it's a war movie that we it's on our top 10. And he connected it and I said Jackie, that's so cool. I said because the guy in the movie was quoting the Bible just like I am.
Speaker 1:you know, here am I send me. Did he know that or no?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Did it occur to you? Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:The guy is reading the Bible. Oh, literally.
Speaker 2:He's in the tank, okay.
Speaker 1:Talking about that Bible verse with Brad Pitt. So funny, right, that was his first reference, yep, and it was like that and I smiled so much for five minutes I couldn't get a grin off my face thinking, lord, you're at work, I don't care how you bring the Bible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, you did it through a bad Hollywood movie.
Speaker 1:It's funny so fans of Fury and Brad Pitt shout out to all you guys. They're great actors throughout the movie. It's so funny, michael Pena is in it, and Shia Brad Pitt, a couple of other people you would recognize I love it.
Speaker 2:I love it. Yep, well, you know, thank God, for you know his leading, his guiding, his provision, for you know the courage to open up your home and start a band of brothers. And for all that, um, for all that he did for so many years and um praise God yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know, and for the courage to to say it's time, it's time to to move on and um, you know we pray for new birth and you know all sorts of uh, not just the ripples that we know of that have occurred and but yeah, for for um, pop up bands of brothers and, and you know it could be out there right now.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Just don't know. Absolutely Pray blessings over everyone. I did try for a while to think back on who came, but I think it might've been hundreds.
Speaker 2:Has to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and okay God they're all yours. Yeah, the one thing they all have in common is they belong to our Lord and Savior, jesus Christ. Period.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's it, yeah, and that I sleep well and a handful that are no longer with us. I mean there's-.
Speaker 2:We talked about all of them, the other, night, yeah, yeah, of them the other night, yeah, yeah, amazing, amazing. Well, thank you for your faithfulness and, uh, it's great to be, you know, continuing with just a new, a new banner, a new, a new brand you know of. Uh, just, you know, godly men and, um, yeah, may he continue to do awesome things and through and, and so we listen, we encourage all of our listeners. You, you know, start one, find one. We've always said it, they're out there. If not, if you don't know where they are, invite a couple of guys and start, start getting together and practicing being an authentic relationship with one another. Amen, god bless you, brother, peace.
Speaker 3:Knowing Steve and Mark well enough to hear their hearts during this podcast, I am beyond excited to see how God will honor their faithfulness to him, their willingness to first take the time to go before the Lord and seek his will and then to faithfully listen and move in his will. It's a testimony we can all learn from. In his will. It's a testimony we can all learn from. You know, the enemy is working overtime to keep us distracted anxious, jealous, fearful and every other adjective he deems necessary to keep us from our calling and mission, and I can't help but wonder what it is that's got me distracted from my endings and new beginnings. I can definitely use some fresh, nutrient-rich soil in my life. What about you, lord? Please continue to use this podcast to impact the lives of all who listen. I ask that you would bring hope and healing to each and every one of them. Meet them right where they are and reveal yourself to them like only you can do them right where they are and reveal yourself to them like only you can do.
Speaker 2:In Jesus' name, amen. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it and invite others to the Foxhole. You can find us wherever you download your favorite podcasts. Be sure to subscribe so you know when new episodes drop, and please rate us and comment there too, as it'll help us get found by others who could benefit. Find, follow and like us on your go-to social media networks by searching Foxhole Symphony or visit foxholesymphonycom to make it super easy to find us. Drop us a line with feedback, questions, topic requests. Who knows, maybe you'll be a guest on a future episode. In the meantime, prepare to move, embrace discomfort and just be you.