Foxhole Symphony
Foxhole Symphony
The Work: A Journey of Healing, Growth and Faith
We draw parallels between our personal growth and the beloved Whitehead Trail on Monhegan Island, Maine. Tackling the physical and emotional hurdles of this hike serves as a metaphor for our spiritual journey—one that involves creating space for God, embracing honesty and transparency, and replacing fears with courage. This ongoing spiritual work, though challenging, leads to profound peace and deeper connections with both God and those around us. Through personal anecdotes, we illustrate how faith and vulnerability can lead to transformative growth and healing.
Vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness; it's a testament to true strength. Admitting our brokenness and seeking God's guidance allow us to withstand life's toughest challenges. In this episode, we discuss the power of relying on God’s armor to overcome darkness, the importance of community and prayer, and the magnetic pull of experiencing God's goodness. We encourage you to embrace this continual path of healing and invite you to join our Foxhole Symphony community. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share this episode with others who might benefit from these discussions.
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Welcome to Foxhole Symphony, a podcast about the transformational value of men in authentic community.
Speaker 2:In our foxhole. Men are equipped to build relationships that foster belonging, accountability and growth.
Speaker 1:Stop believing the lie that you can thrive in isolation and instead join us on the journey from broken to whole.
Speaker 3:Hello everyone. They call me the Maestro and we are back in the foxhole where we actively pursue belonging, accountability and growth through authentic relationships. No masks, no agendas, just iron sharpening iron. The foxhole is covered in yellow caution tape and Steve and Mark are walking around with their hard hats on. It must be time to get to work. Open up your favorite notes app and throw on some safety glasses, because we're going in.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to Foxhole Symphony Podcast. I'm Sarge here with Mark. Good morning, hey bro. What's happening? Oh, lots happening, and yeah. I mean really a lot. I had you know. Our dear brother Bo, the other evening said how you doing, I'm like I'm spinning. He's like, oh, you spun out. I'm like. I don't know if I've heard that spun out, but that sounds about right Like a top. I remember him.
Speaker 1:Taz, by the way. We do call him Turbo now.
Speaker 2:Yes, there you go.
Speaker 1:Yep, turbo. You can't spell Turbo without B-O, that's true. Arbo Turbo, yeah, yeah, turbo. That was a good. That was a great meeting. A great meeting, yeah, we're going to have.
Speaker 2:E2G, the Victorious Together band of brothers, back in the foxhole for you know, just a gathering soon. We're going to do that again soon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I think it's important that we do. We always talk about men in authentic community, and you and I are living it out and it's become part of the fabric of our lives. I so look forward to those meetings. I mean, I really, really do. Oh my gosh, do you know what your hat?
Speaker 2:says backwards, be strong, there you go.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, the world's idea of being strong isn't necessarily God's idea for being strong, but it is tied to the work we want to talk about and that is the it's heart work. It's heart work and you know, there's an emotional side to that, there's a psychological side to that, there's a spiritual side to that, All kind of interconnected that, uh, all all kinds of kind of inner interconnected, and so, um, yeah, that that work is what happens when you know, our, our group, our, our band of brothers come together, Um, and we it's interesting, the other night, right, there were, there was no small talk you, I remember, you were upstairs, you came downstairs and we were, within about a minute and a half, swimming in the deep end. We were, you know, just literally right off the high end and you know what it's, it was natural, comfortable. That's that's where it's become. And it doesn't listen. It didn't start that way, you know, back in September, when we started meeting together the five of us. But it is now and we just dive right in.
Speaker 1:And that is so beautiful, that that's our community. I'm not saying it's appropriate or could be effective for everybody that way, but the fruit of our, the fact that we feel safe and we're comfortable with each other, can be honest with each other, don't judge each other. I mean, it's all born from being able to just dive into the meat of a conversation and not be sorry. But we don't start conversations with sorry, but it's let's go. What's God put on your heart?
Speaker 2:Right. So this idea of work Thessalonians 3.10 says if a man will not work, he shall not eat and again, what we're talking about here is the heart work around that and you know, again, the emotional work around that, because it's much the same principle. You know we've been wounded and we've talked about this many, many times. You know we've been wounded. Some of us, uh, some of us physically, yeah, um, and there's healing needed for that. Um, and most of us, uh, or I should say all of us emotionally, all of us in some form or fashion, and some to one degree or another. And Jesus offers us healing. He offers us healing, and that doesn't just happen.
Speaker 1:No, it sounds like a very neat equation, but it's not.
Speaker 2:No and it requires action on our part. It requires work. That's the work. That's the work. It requires us to ask. It requires us to ask. We've talked about it, you know, in the past with you know, as it relates to confession, which is a part of it, it's a part of it. You know, confess pray be healed Very. You know confess, pray be healed. Very simple, not easy, but we've seen that over and over and over again.
Speaker 1:That's part of the work, and so Can we stick, can we just? I want to climb in a rabbit hole with you in the beginning of that cycle, the work right Asking that. For me, the word that came to my mind was acknowledge. Acknowledge the wound. Yes, it's a very hard step. It was for me. I'm sorry, it was a hard step for me.
Speaker 2:Interesting. Yeah, Thanks for pausing there, because I I glaze right over that because I'm like yeah, of course. What do you mean? Wounded? Yeah, moving on how do I fix it. Yeah, but yeah, I guess that right for many that's interesting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was. I'm thinking about my P1 and my life after that, where I suddenly had permission. I felt like I was given permission by other men I'm sorry, by God through other men to acknowledge my wounds and sins and and need for healing. Right, yeah, that was really really big for me. It was the door opener. I saw the door. I knew, yeah, right, I felt like it was locked and the truth is, I'm the one who locked it.
Speaker 2:Well, you know and isn't this really so similar to you? Know what it looks like to even come to faith and step over the line of faith and invite Jesus to be a part of our lives. You know, initially you were talking about or earlier we were just catching up and you were talking about you know age 47, right, just a mile marker in your life, and how your faith became real at that point in your life and that acknowledgement at that point that we are not God of our lives, that we have this hole in our hearts and this need for the Lord because only he can fill that hole. This is very much similar, right? So now that years beyond that, you're on this intensive weekend experience and you now are faced with acknowledging or being given permission to acknowledge, oh, wow, okay. And underneath all of that there's this wound that shows up over and over and over again that I have to make a decision not only to acknowledge but then to invite God again and again and again into that space for healing.
Speaker 1:And again and again is correct. The story of my life from 47 to today, so 18 years, has so many plateaus where I thought I had it figured out.
Speaker 3:You know the you ever been on a hike?
Speaker 1:that's uphill, and I mean, generally speaking, there aren't too many new ones, but you have an idea where you're headed and what the summit looks like. But you get to a spot where you need to stop, take a breath. Maybe it's look at a Vista, or you're tired, you want to get a drink of water, whatever, but you stop, you rest. In my spiritual journey it's been a lot of these plateaus where I'm like oh, got it wound check healed.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, you get to that point climbing up the mountain where you look out at the vista and you're like we're here, this is the top. We made it. No, no, there's more, there's more. Keep climbing Right. But some of us get to that point and go this is good enough, I've tasted it. This is good enough, I'll settle for this. This is a beautiful view. Right, let's just camp here. Let's set up camp here.
Speaker 1:Right, can I just stay here? Yeah, and, by the way, I'm guessing I was just going to say some people do and can, and that's a good spot and it can be a fulfilling life there. I'm going to give you a quick story. On Monhegan Island, maine, where I married my sweetheart and we have ventured for the last 30 years at least once a summer. There is a trail called the Whitehead Trail, trail number seven. Anyone who knows me knows trail seven. And trail seven was the trail that Maria walked in her wedding gown wearing Chuck Taylor's come on, swear to marry me at the top of a cliff, no joke.
Speaker 1:And the trail starts very abruptly up upward right and even if you're in good shape it challenges you but it plateaus out. You get to the museum and lighthouse level of the island and it flattens out for like 100 yards and you find yourself your heart's beating really fast and you're coming across and so many times I mean I've walked this trail. I want to say a thousand times in 30 years. Just, I'll stay here. It's nice, lighthouse, museum, I can hang. You know this is a good spot.
Speaker 1:But if you keep going it gets a little jungly and the trail thins out and it goes down for a while and at the end it comes back up to where you're at the end of the rocks and I think I'm probably looking at Portugal. It's probably, if I'm doing my latitudes correctly, somewhere around there, england, portugal. Correctly, somewhere around there, england, portugal. But it's me standing on a rock that's 160 feet above the water and looking out, and it's just water. I mean, you look really hard, you can see another island way out, but if there aren't any ships or boats, it's just you.
Speaker 1:You in that vista and you're at the top of it, and so I consecrated my marriage there, and also every time I get to the top, I praise God for that chance, that aloneness. Even if I'm with somebody you can separate and just be. And I tell you this story from my heart, because it's exactly what I thought of when I thought of climbing and reaching plateaus and keeping going, because now I know what's at the end. And the story here for me is about some of the work we're talking about doing acknowledging, asking, acknowledging wounds. What's at the end? Sarge, right, maybe this isn't going to go so well.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, so what's at the end is you know we're with him. I mean it's, it's freedoms at the end.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so our life here is just a continuous journey upward, um, you know, climbing and enjoying those vistas and saying, okay, there's more, we can stay for a while and enjoy that, and we should.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, see, I was looking at it totally differently. Yes, life is a continual journey. You can rest, but there's some hard work here. Well, yes, a hundred percent. Well, yes, I mean painful Personally. There was some honesty required and vulnerability required and transparency required that I had not done as an adult, for sure.
Speaker 2:Yes, so that is the work we're talking about. The work starts with acknowledging and inviting God in. I wouldn't even say that's what's next because we have to make space for him. We have to create space, yeah, so you know, we have to empty out and, to the extent that we are willing to empty out, we create space for God to come in and fill us with whatever it is we need, you know, to take the place of that woundedness. And that is the work, and it is ongoing. It is ongoing why? Because we live in a messy, sinful, broken world where we will continue to be wounded and wound others, hopefully less and less and less and less. But you know, and as we are filled up and receive healing, you know, we become healers of others. But that is the work, and so you know how do you do?
Speaker 1:that. Well, let me great question and we'll go there. I just want everyone listening to know that the fill up part is not like a gas station, it's not an automatic refill, right Like I dump out my crap and God fills me with good. Yes, that is a but. It's a process, at least it was for me. It's not like filler up, squeeze the handle and 60 bucks later you're full of good and God.
Speaker 2:So, for example, I want to pour out fear in my life, and this doesn't pertain to me personally at all whatsoever. This is just I'm speaking for somebody else.
Speaker 1:Forget about it. I'm speaking for somebody else, forget about it. Forget about it.
Speaker 2:That's right. So I pour out fear. So now I've got a little less fear because I've done this and we'll get to, maybe, what that looks like.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I want? What do I want or need Courage. I want more courage. Well, I received that, but to your point, it's not the Staples easy button, it doesn't just. You know, it's like, yeah, it's there, it's planted, but what is it? What does it look like to get more courage? It's a process and you know, it's not like, you know, superman in the phone booth, out of the phone booth and now I've got all this. Yeah, it's there, it's planted, but God's going to develop that over time and some of that's going to be through some circumstances where, in the past maybe, I've been overwhelmed by fear. Therein lies the challenge and the requirement for vulnerability and taking those risks. But when we do that, what does that lead to? It leads to trust in God and my brothers. It increases my faith and results in peace. So that's the process, this process, right, I dump out fear and some of that's simply by confessing them.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Simply by confessing them. Yep, and I had the opportunity to do that with my wife this morning. We were celebrating some things and she was like, see, like, what have you been so worried about? Look how God has blessed. Look at this miracle and that miracle, just even over the last few months, and you know, and there is so much to say, and I was like I know, yes, like, and we were just given praise to God and sharing our gratitude and and I was like, wow, this is so positive.
Speaker 3:And I said you know honey.
Speaker 2:I said I, I, just you know, it's the fear in my life that takes over sometimes and it's rooted in this way, back here, somewhere Ancient wound that I've done so much work on, but there's still it's there.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about that, cause that's, that's what I've been sitting here thinking about and you talking the last two minutes is the enemy's part of this process. Oh, I mean really, ladies and gentlemen, let me announce the wound acknowledgement, asking right, the process of praying, emptying out, et cetera, et cetera. Throughout this process, when you're engaging the Holy Spirit in your life every day a little bit more, the enemy knows, the liar knows Absolutely, and he takes me back every chance he gets.
Speaker 2:He wants me to remember the wound and hide behind it again, and it's so sneaky and cunning and slippery, which is exactly why we show up every two weeks to speak these things, so that our brothers in front of us can say, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What did you just say? That's not the truth, that's a lie. Where did you hear that? Who planted that in your head? That's not what we see. I know the answer to that one Exactly, and so that is exactly why we need to be in authentic community authentic, meaning, transparent, vulnerable, speaking these things, because otherwise the lie that's planted in our head that begins to take root and we start to believe it.
Speaker 2:That's not going to stop, that attack is not going to just go away as long as we're on this earth, and so we have a responsibility and the work is literally taking back that ground for ourselves and for our brothers, for those around us to speak truth, to speak life, to shine the light in the darkness, and again, a lot of it is through the transparency. It's the vulnerability. If we don't speak it, nobody knows it and can't reflect back to us.
Speaker 1:The truth, right and again, whether they agree or disagree. By the way, exactly your definition of the work there was the best I've heard, Right there. You have my permission to use that. No, no, it's perfect. Knowing there's a battle going on, it's not a pretend battle. Just because it doesn't involve swords and guns and whatever and bombs doesn't mean it's not real. It's happening in my head now. Right, the enemy's trying to distract me from this conversation, 100%. No, there's no question about it. When you're doing good, when you're trying to improve yourself and grow closer, one inch closer, to your God, today the enemy wants to be in your way. Some of it is my personal weakness and wiring, but there is an element of darkness in this. There just simply is and you know I am not a conspiracy theorist, that is not one of the things I suffer of all my maladies, but this is real. I have seen it, I have felt it, I've watched it in other men, and having a group of men that you can rely on in this battle is essential.
Speaker 2:Yeah, essential. And that here's the thing. You know, we have this tendency to hold on to our brokenness and sort of just keep it hidden away for ourselves, right, for one reason or another, and maybe it's shame, maybe we feel like we're the only ones that have experienced that. You know, again, there's all these things, there's risk associated. We've talked about this in community. You know there's risk associated with, you know, opening up. There's risk associated with bearing our soul. You know somebody around us might look at us and go what, what happened to you, or you did what, or you know and and judge us or walk away against it, whatever right. And and this is where, again, this there's, there's, there's, you know, something very beautiful about a safe community and container, but the risk of not doing it is so much greater, is so much greater totally because there's no healing so we can we can hang on to it, you can.
Speaker 2:Whatever it is that happened to you, you can hold on to it, you can. You can sit in your. You know the dark corner of your basement and trivial, and you know what. The enemy is just beyond thrilled to keep you right there, ineffective for the kingdom, you know, not on mission, thinking and feeling like you can't be used, you're not good enough. You'll never be able to. You know all nonsense, all lies.
Speaker 1:Breaking through the barrier, the wall, that is the wound. Acknowledgement can be so big because we've I've convinced myself. It's uniquely mine and no one else knows what this feels like.
Speaker 2:Right. So, going back to the hat I'm wearing that you mentioned, the world would tell us oh, you need to be strong, you need to look strong. You're weak. If you're vulnerable, if you confess that you'll be seen as weak, things may go bad. You might lose your friends.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so no, you'll be seen as weak. No, no, things may go bad you might lose your friends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so no, no, no, no, no, no. The strong man is the man willing to acknowledge that brokenness and those wounds, that's strong enough to confess, that's strong enough to say I don't have this all figured out. God, you are my God, I need you, I need you. I need more of you, less of me, more of you. Right, perfect. And we, and, and you know, we're made strong in our weakness only because of him.
Speaker 1:And so, on the other side of that, we are strong, really strong. Isn't that an incredible feeling? You know what that feels like?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, finally Right, be strong in the Lord.
Speaker 1:That's it Put on the prepositional phrase at the end of that is really important in the Lord yeah.
Speaker 2:Put on the full armor, put on his full armor. Right, not our own, yeah, not our own armor. Not the hiding, you know, hiding behind whatever it is, the facades, the masks, the poser syndrome, the I'm this, I'm that, the glossy shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not the armor, that's false armor, it's fake. It's not armor, it's like paper.
Speaker 1:I was going to say that'll crumble and burn really fast. And the first heat, right the first time you get challenged and the heat gets turned up, that phony armor gets burnt up.
Speaker 3:It's gone.
Speaker 1:It's so essential to find a man to pray with about this, to pray against the darkness, To pray. Thank you, Lord, for your Holy Spirit in my life to give me the strength that I need to go through another day. For some folks in addiction, it's another minute.
Speaker 2:To your point. Here's another aspect of this right, as we empty out, most of us are not gonna, you know, just empty the whole cup. We don't even know how, we don't even know what's there, right, so it just starts with a little drop, pour out this, which and the reason I'm bringing that up is there's, there's safety in that. I'm not suggesting you just go bare your soul to the next stranger that walks up and just shit, you know. No, no, no, no, no. Test test, test, this Test, the theory Test. The Lord Watch what he'll do as you just incrementally bloop you know Good sound effect, splash, splash, splash. Right, just pour a little bit out, see what happens. And let me tell you you're going to come back for more. I want to. I want empty. I want less of that and more of this in my life, amen.
Speaker 1:You are. You're the best example I know by a long shot a whole football field of continuing to do work on things that you've conquered right. You've had victory over certain wounds and moments that resurrect those wounds, but you have shown a willingness and emulate that and model that for us, the rest of us around you so well, bro.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:I mean you, yeah, man, I've. I've watched you what I call puddle up more times, you know, just willing to pour out your heart and say this is my truth right now, and this is what I'm dealing with, and you allow God to work through other men around you, right, because I know this sounds incredibly obvious, but God isn't talking to me directly, yeah, audibly, saying Mark, I've got this. You don't, by the way, that's a lie that you think you've got it, I've got it. He uses other men to do that. Sure, he uses songs to do that. He uses his word to do that. But I don't have a bad phone, right, you know?
Speaker 2:a God phone. It would be nice.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It would be nice Someday. I know when it's coming and you know what. You're right, Like I do, and I have, for you know, as you know, decades chased after that, every opportunity, or I shouldn't say every, but most, and you know the reason it's like. You know you want to shout it from the rooftops. I've tasted and seen like come, taste, taste of the Lord, like taste of this healing, taste of this, this transformational journey that he has for us, that he's calling us to, that he's designed for us, that he's wanted for our lives, anyway, all along.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:That's what he has for us. He's saying look, taste and see that the lord is good taste.
Speaker 1:My goodness yeah, and that is so attractive, that's magnetic man to me.
Speaker 2:We go oh yeah, but no, this, this lollipop of, of, you know, muck, and mire, just tastes good enough. I'll just hang here what no.
Speaker 1:Gross, right Gross. It's like eating a peat moss lollipop.
Speaker 2:It's like this is good enough. It's not. I'll just have my own little pity party here and digest this mess.
Speaker 1:So we always try to speak of something practical. Wound management 101. By the way, this is not scientific at all. I want to be clear. Work from your heart is tough. I it's the. It's the best workout. When we're done with this recording, I'm gonna go get my saturday morning core workout right. I'm already like not looking forward to it, but looking forward to it. Yeah, and I know what's coming. Yeah, and that is how I approach wound management now is that I know it's it to be tough.
Speaker 1:The work we're talking about doing requires me to get on my knees, which isn't easy these days, physically really, I mean it's like they're a little creaky. But I want to say that, practically for me, we are, practically for me, we are Foxhole listeners. We are inviting you into a place that to do real work, to do hard work, requires a commitment, it requires fortitude, it requires a little stiff upper lip Pick your metaphor. But I'm not saying there won't be easy parts, saying there won't be easy parts.
Speaker 1:My personal experience is that it has been an upward climb, with some beautiful plateaus where God has given me permission to rest and marinate and let him do some work in me teaching, and then I'll take another step and I'll take another step. And I'll take another step with him because I trust him. I now know Enemies at every plateau, by the way he's there, but I decided to have brothers around me to help protect me, to help tell me the truth, to help keep me vulnerable. I want to die vulnerable. Yeah, that's the decision I've made. That's the work I want to do. How about you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the decision I've made, that's the work I want to do. How about you? So, yeah, I don't know, maybe just that there's, there's an analogy and you know, I think for everybody maybe it just looks a little bit different depending on where you are and and who you're connected with. Um, you know, imagine yourself for a moment just, you've, you've, you know, you've been, you've, you've fasted or you've been without food for days, and you know, you, you, you're, you're sitting or standing outside of this, this palace, and you can, you can kind of see, in the courtyard there's this feast set up waiting for you. I mean just this feast. And you know there's Jesus sitting at the table saying come eat. You have a reservation, right, yeah, come eat. You have a reservation, right, yeah.
Speaker 2:And, and you know, there's, there's sort of this there's a gate and there's a little, there's a little doorway, and um, and you just look and you go, gosh, I'd have to, you know, climb this gate. I'd have to get over this. How would I possibly it's like just step over the threshold, turn the knob, step through the doorway. It requires action on your part, you know, enter into his happiness. You know there's an invitation, but you've got to step, you've got to step, you've got to step, step over the threshold, and so, whatever that looks like, take it.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I want to be abundantly clear. What a beautiful picture that was, by the way. Now you made me hungry. This is a journey you can take with other men, but it's a singular relationship that you have with your creator, god, and that walk, that decision, is yours, it's nobody else's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so again, I think you know where can you plug in, who can you get with. Where can you plug in? Who can you get with what is it that you might be able to begin to empty out your cup, to maybe confess some wound?
Speaker 1:You know, is it tied to deceitfulness or fear, or maybe some anger?
Speaker 2:or shame, Shame loss in your life yeah, and start, pick one thing and see what God does, and don't forget to pray. Don't forget to pray.
Speaker 1:Yeah, talk to your father. Just start that conversation today. If you're listening, you can do it today. You can turn us off right now and start that conversation with him. It begins there, yeah.
Speaker 2:James 5.16 says therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. So, brother, thanks for being that guy in my life, over and, over and over again yeah and um, we just encourage you.
Speaker 2:You don't have to do this alone, and it's um, in fact, it's uh, it's pretty, pretty near impossible to do, as you've heard us talk about. So thanks for listening to another episode of the foxhole symphony podcast. Great to be with you, my brother, and yeah, we just wish you the best and peace. Bless you.
Speaker 3:Isn't it beautiful that we are loved by an all-powerful, sovereign and holy God who jumps into the hole of brokenness with us. Anger, deceit, fear, sadness, shame none of that pushes him away from us. He gives us power to grab hold of those wounds and know the truth about them, where they come from and how the enemy wants to use them to get us back in that hole. He also gives us a community his sons and daughters to help build each other up, speak truth out loud, listen and pray. Brothers and sisters who are on that same journey and find their hope in the Lord. Go to the foot of the cross and receive the healing power of our Savior and, when you get up, find trusted brothers to continue on your journey. Lord, please continue to use this podcast to impact the lives of all who listen. I ask that you would bring hope and healing to each and every one of them. Meet them right where they are and reveal yourself to them like only you can do. In Jesus name, amen.
Speaker 2:If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it and invite others to the foxhole. You can find us wherever you download your favorite podcast. Be sure to subscribe so you know when new episodes drop, and please rate us and comment there too, as it'll help us get found by others who could benefit. Find, follow and like us on your go-to social media networks by searching foxhole symphony or visit foxholesymphonycom to make it super easy to find us. Drop us a line with feedback, questions, topic requests. Who knows, maybe you'll be a guest on a future episode. In the meantime, prepare to move, embrace discomfort and just be you.
